mom, mama, mother...

We go by so many names. When I think about motherhood, I think of all the names: counselor, teacher, mediator, student, janitor, cook, nurse, lifeguard...the list is ongoing. I keep finding new names as my kids get older, as motherhood unfolds on me. 

I think the most complicated and miraculous thing about mothering is the way you find yourself. It's like a part of me has always been a mom. Before children were any part of me. The flame was there, building with each moment until it became so bright that I couldn't imagine it getting any bigger. 

Then it did.

Late nights. Early mornings. At your wits end. At no end. Holding them close. Letting them walk down the block. Letting them fly. Holding your breath. No longer holding. Capturing a moment. Replaying a day. Memorizing their breath. Dancing in the living room. Tickle fights. Watching them sleep. Can you ever get enough of it all?

The answer is no. You will never get enough. 

Mothering is about the pull. The pull when they need you most. And then the pull the world will place on your children. To leap, to fly, to live. Mothering is about finding out how to accept the pull, whichever direction it goes. 

It all comes together beautifully in a symphonic wave of daring love. A love that you could not explain but have always known. 

Mothering:

I have always known you.

Deep inside, your first

kicks and taps,

I met your awakening.

I have always known you.

First steps, first words

little parts of you,

I met your perseverance.

I have always known you.

Handwritten names, crooked letters 

spelled out your voice,

I met your passion.

I have always known you.

Heartbreaks, let downs,

the world teaching you lessons,

I met your bravery.

I have always known you.

Dreams and visions,

learning and pushing yourself, 

I met your soul.

I have always known you. 

I have always loved you.

And I always will.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the fabulous mothers out there! Including my mother, Mark's mother, and all of our grandmothers. We love you all so very much, and our lives are richer with you!