write it down

A confession:

I have this stubborn, quiet voice that resides within me.

And no, I am not schizophrenic.  Nor do I have auditory hallucinations.

I'm a writer.

As if this blog isn't proof of my tendencies to express myself; thought onto paper, blank canvas, or an online version of a white square that has the potential of infinity...squared.

The funny thing about this stubborn and quiet urging voice-it never is satisfied. It is always nagging, a shrill reminder of what must be done.

At times I am able to get it to quiet down quite a bit. A low buzzing noise that is heard only if I am completely still. Don't get me wrong it's still there, but it seems satisfied if words and thought are formed. Even better if it is somewhat organized and legible in a physical form.

The most assuring thing out of the whole noise is that I know I'm not the only one that must hear it. Many, if not all, of us do at some time or another. It may be writing that fuels it, but it could also be art or music. It's creative buzzing that won't quiet down without some form of expression on our part.

I guess no matter the degree of your haunting, rest assured you will always have that quiet constant voice. There may be days, months, years that you go astray. But you will always find your way back. It will lead you.

And don't think of that voice as a haunted ghost of what may not yet be. Think of it as a long lost friend that you must invite over for coffee now and then to rekindle the treasured friendship. If you're lucky maybe they'll stay over for a game of cards. Or whatever they like to play. Anything to get them to stop talking for a while.

"Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals."
-Don Delillo

weekending

I got a new bag. And some new bright red shoes.

On the scale of 1 to 10 of life-revamping one person can do, in my book that's like an 11.  So I'm soaking it up. Riding this wave of full rejuvenation.

Other loves this weekend. Caleb's first Pinewood Derby race.

He and Daddy worked hard this year.

We were so proud. He's a third generation scout, and I know he made 'em all proud.

A new tradition that's sure to be continued. I just have this hunch that the annual smell of sawdust and graphite are in our future. Not to mention the contagious round of trash talk and hollering from the sidelines.

 Not that we took part in any of that.

We had a great weekend.

Did some much needed shopping for the essentials. You know, matching raincoat and boots for the girly girl. Which, by the way, is the cutest thing ever.

I literally pinch myself that Mark and I have these beautiful, smart, delightful "mini" versions of ourselves. Which I don't think we can even claim sometimes. They are adorable. They do silly things. They crack jokes. They are just....fun. Seriously, being a parent is the coolest gig ever.

Weekly phone dump:

Hope ya'll have a good week!
I'll put my feet up to that.

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven."
-Henry Ward Beecher

keep dreaming

"Keep your dreams alive.
Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in 
yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.
Remember all things are possible for those who believe."
-Gail Devers


Lately, I have been finding out the value of dreaming. Dream big. Dream little. Dream anything at all. Whatever the size they are, or however you dare, do it. Dream. Think outside of the box,  you don't always need to follow the yellow brick road.

Make them yours.

Ask yourself what you want out of life.

Is it waking up next the beach everyday? Grab a sleeping bag.
Start a new profession? Go back to school.
Sing in a band? Pick up a guitar.
vogliono imparare I'italiano? Find a tutor.
Build a dream house? Start digging.
Become an expert? Read, research, learn.

You are the master planner of your opportunities. Don't blame others, the economy, your circumstances. Don't make excuses. If you want it, go out and grab it. Or do anything and everything to grab it. Say for some awful and disappointing reason you fall short. Well hey, at least you can say that you tried. And you have a great story to tell.

No one else can do it for you.

All I know, is someday I am going to wake up old and gray, God willing, and I am going to smile at all I have done in my long life. All the wear I've put on my old bones. All the wrinkles I've etched into my tired face. But I will be satisfied, because I dreamed. And I wasn't afraid to make my dreams into tangible, beautiful, greatness.

What will you dream? Where will you go? Only you are author of that one delightful story.


Weekly phone dump:

"I'll do my dreaming with my eyes wide open,
and I'll do my looking back with my eyes closed."
-Tony Arata

weekend off, a weekend late

Yes, we did make it back from the beach. I am just running really behind on posting pictures. Work always gets me in this eat, sleep, get out the door routine, with maybe a little bit of the Today show in there. And that's just because I'm a helpless addict. You want to know what else I'm hopelessly addicted to?

Quality family time.

It's just something about that magnetic pull to be together.

No matter how short, or how much we wish it would last forever. We can take a deep breath and give ourselves into the wonderful thing we have right now: time.

Because making wishes are full of wonder, yes. But that star, that eyelash, that candle...it never lasts. The satisfaction of laying on a bed of nails...well, it does. 

Of dreaming our biggest dreams. And seeing the world for what it really is. 

A big, wonderful place. But one that, if we're lucky, we get to share together.

Speaking of sharing. What a better holiday to help us remember to share love. 

And nothing speaks love like Grandma's cookies.

Then the normal stuff has to ground you too. You know making art and killing the bad dragons.

But, then again being grounded is pretty overrated at times. 

Hope ya'll were able to enjoy the lovely week!

so-long week, hello weekend!

Finally wrapping up a very busy week. There were days of work, work and more work. School, projects, frigid temperatures-and I know that has nothing to do with being busy. It was just a downer on our mid 60s-70s parade.

But it was all worth it, because we are getting geared up for a long weekend at the beach. And though it may not be a warm weekend, we can at least get a much needed break and change of pace. So, no complaints here. I'll keep this post short as I still need to pack before we head out.

Weekly phone dump:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all the time, this expression is unique."
-Martha Graham