the post I shouldn't write

I work.

Specifically, my work involves people. People at their most vulnerable moments. People trying to fight or fly. There are breaking points, learning curves. I am a nurse. My work is people.

I always shy away from writing about work. There's this frightening thing out there called HIPAA. And though it is very good and very necessary, it makes me afraid to type out and talk about what I do for a living.

However, with all that being said, it's hard to not talk about what goes on in those hours between. As nurses we see it all, we see everything. And we can't talk about it. Not really. Maybe to other nurses, they lend an ear, a nod, a "you did everything you could" when it calls for it. But others, maybe they want to hear maybe they don't. But you can't really talk about it. Not really. It's kind of like a secret society, an invitation only event. It's exclusive, and in that way it keeps me coming back.

What can I say? What can I write?

I can write about us: People.

We are brave. We are scared.
We are strong. We are weak.
We are brilliant. We are stumped.
We are vulnerable. We are closed off.
We are soft. We are calloused.
We are talkers. We are listeners.
We are each other's best friend.
We are each other's worst enemy.

But at the end of the day we pull through in little miraculous moments that represent a fraction of who we are.

I may not be able to talk about what I do, or see, or experience. I cannot express the moments that I have had that bring me to this place: the core of our human existence. We are people. All of us. And that is a beautiful thing.

I'll always remember that.