I always get annoyed with people that start out by saying: "I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while." Let's clarify... I get annoyed with myself when I start out that way. It's like the momentum gets a huge stall before the tires start moving forward. So how do I choose to start this belated blog post? Talking about talking about not writing on here. Wow, you may be wondering how many eggnog latte's I've been consuming lately. Well, I'm proud to report none. And maybe that's where our problem started...
Let's begin the way I wanted to begin.
Hello. How's life in the fast lane of holiday parties, ugly Christmas sweaters, and baking cookies? I don't know about you, but I'm getting a big thrill out of the new hobby that I've acquired that I affectionately call "waiting in line." You think I'm showing off my charming wit, surely.
Seriously though, it's my new favorite thing.
I don't know about you, but when I'm in line at the store or in the parking lot or the turn lane into a shopping mall, my instinct tells me to be annoyed. Waiting, gah. What a waste of time. It's like you're going but then you're not. Seconds turn into minutes and before you know it the 5 o'clock sunset is casting its light across your face. Time disappears like the patience that the day started you off with. Suddenly it puts you in a bad mood and that errand that was supposed to take a few minutes turns into an all day affair. Dinner is late. Bedtime is late. Everything is late as the night takes on different forms of productivity.
But here's the thing. Here's my thing. The time that I spend waiting in line, I've been forcing my gut reaction of annoyance into a tone of gratitude. Who am I kidding, grateful to be in limbo? But that's exactly my point. When I'm waiting and looking ahead to the next few minutes that will take place, I am transformed. It's as if my senses become crystal clear. Sounds are louder, lights are brighter, and I become a person who is in the moment. If I catch myself, I'll start to smile. The days of impatience are behind me, as I steadily take my place in this world of others. I wait for my time to come. Because I know it will come eventually. But everything and everyone has just as much right to presence as I do. And this little reminder makes the world so big and me a very small piece of it. You may not realize, but these moments are diamonds in a bed of coal. I let myself breathe them in. Continue hovering my foot above the pedal, but taking those fragments of appreciation for the chance to stay right where I'm at. This is presence. This is life as it should be. We go, we wait, we go.
We've been focusing in on the rituals of the season. As hard as it may seem to keep up with it all, I've learned the fine art of letting go. If we do some things and don't do others it no longer makes me sad and pressured to fit everything in. The important will get done. And if we don't get every morsel of holiday cheer squeezed out, rest assured we will find other ways to do it. I have found peace in the things that we can do. Making sure that we know the heart of it all. This is what I think about when I'm waiting.
Let's begin the way I wanted to begin.
Hello. How's life in the fast lane of holiday parties, ugly Christmas sweaters, and baking cookies? I don't know about you, but I'm getting a big thrill out of the new hobby that I've acquired that I affectionately call "waiting in line." You think I'm showing off my charming wit, surely.
Seriously though, it's my new favorite thing.
I don't know about you, but when I'm in line at the store or in the parking lot or the turn lane into a shopping mall, my instinct tells me to be annoyed. Waiting, gah. What a waste of time. It's like you're going but then you're not. Seconds turn into minutes and before you know it the 5 o'clock sunset is casting its light across your face. Time disappears like the patience that the day started you off with. Suddenly it puts you in a bad mood and that errand that was supposed to take a few minutes turns into an all day affair. Dinner is late. Bedtime is late. Everything is late as the night takes on different forms of productivity.
But here's the thing. Here's my thing. The time that I spend waiting in line, I've been forcing my gut reaction of annoyance into a tone of gratitude. Who am I kidding, grateful to be in limbo? But that's exactly my point. When I'm waiting and looking ahead to the next few minutes that will take place, I am transformed. It's as if my senses become crystal clear. Sounds are louder, lights are brighter, and I become a person who is in the moment. If I catch myself, I'll start to smile. The days of impatience are behind me, as I steadily take my place in this world of others. I wait for my time to come. Because I know it will come eventually. But everything and everyone has just as much right to presence as I do. And this little reminder makes the world so big and me a very small piece of it. You may not realize, but these moments are diamonds in a bed of coal. I let myself breathe them in. Continue hovering my foot above the pedal, but taking those fragments of appreciation for the chance to stay right where I'm at. This is presence. This is life as it should be. We go, we wait, we go.
We've been focusing in on the rituals of the season. As hard as it may seem to keep up with it all, I've learned the fine art of letting go. If we do some things and don't do others it no longer makes me sad and pressured to fit everything in. The important will get done. And if we don't get every morsel of holiday cheer squeezed out, rest assured we will find other ways to do it. I have found peace in the things that we can do. Making sure that we know the heart of it all. This is what I think about when I'm waiting.
Sunday was a tough day. A killer migraine pushed through, forcing me to rush into bed after a particularly rough day at work. Laying in darkness and trying to quiet my pulsating head, the panic crept slowly over me until it was all-consuming. This was bad. Barely sleeping that night due to the pain, I was able to wake the next morning with slight relief. I've known for a while that these migraines are hormone related. Having tried several different doctors with their opinions through the years, I dialed a naturopathic doctor and made an appointment. I'm hopeful that a new angle will yield better results. Being an active holistic researcher, this has been a long time coming.
A little break for some Christmas cheer:
Vintage holiday shopping...
Our house sprinkled with Christmas spirit...
Just in case you missed it...and who am I kidding, everyone has things they are busy with...but I did complete my 50,000 words for the month of November! It was an incredible challenge, and something that I have never done before in my life. I'm excited to review this novel and revise it. And I've been lucky in that a few of my close friends and family have started reading it to give me feedback. I'm hopeful to have a first draft manuscript by the end of the year and then we'll see where it goes from there.
There's a lot to learn about yourself when you put pen to paper each day. One thing that I walked away with, is the comfort in calling myself a writer. No backing away from it now...
Also, in case you missed it, I did have two articles published on The Broad Collective website:
And later this month I will tell you about my very first paid writing publication. Very exciting things that I keep pinching myself over.
Thank you for allowing me into your day. This is always my favorite conversation. xo
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