ramping up

Highway on-ramps scare the shit out of me. Just putting that out there. The moment that I feel my engine accelerate, with a gentle push of the pedal, I know that this is it. They will either let me in, or they won't. And if there's a big semi just sitting there in the right lane, (which is always the case, isn't it?) I know it's go time. Either speed the hell up, or change your foot over to the brake. But I know the brake isn't the answer. I'm going to have to get up to speed one way or another. Otherwise I'll just be that sitting car on the side of the road that everyone signals over to pass. And I'll be no closer to my destination.

experimenting with charcoal...

This week I have been diligent in my writing, tonight I'll pass over 30,000 words since the first of this month. My novel just that much more of a reality. People wonder why I'm doing this to myself. Why I tuck pen and scrap paper into every corner of my current life. Why I stay up and drink coffee late at night. The only reasonable explanation would be that I'm obsessed. What I keep telling myself is that I am already a writer. Time + work = novel. Truly, I believe that my hands will be holding my first manuscript before the end of the year. Obsessed or driven? The line is always a blur. You'll have to read my story to find out.

Work has been consuming lately...the cold and flu season is upon us. I keep telling myself that the extra income will be nice for the upcoming holiday. But it's hard to put a dollar figure on justifying time away from my favorite people. I guess it's something we all have to deal with in our lives. Finding that sweet spot in productivity and acute awareness of all things that bring us joy. I'll keep doing my best to capture those moments that bring me to center. Work or not, these faces always know how to make me smile.

Including this moment I posted earlier this week:
This is my moment of chaos. Or so I thought. Caleb is narrating while he plays a game, Katelynn is rehearsing Christmas carols, dog is barking...I sat down with a cup of tea and realized my "E" is missing. I actually considered getting up as soon as I sat down. So glad that I'm here, embracing the chaotic symphony, -njoying the little things.

A large storm system is pouring down rain tonight. We decided to call it a day, putting on our pajamas and making breakfast for dinner. For reasons that I cannot explain, this feels like home to me. And I'm perpetually happy about every part of it. Down to the chocolate chips in the batter. Pockets of sweetness in life, make my heart happy.

The highway's off-ramp is a different story. Letting out a breath, the gears shift down to a mellow cruise. The turns are calculated now. Town streets give way to stop signs and speed limits. Though the thrill of acceleration is a distant memory, there is still beauty in the slowing down. We know ultimately our destination is just that much closer.