August

Hello August.

You may not know this. In recent weeks I was busying myself, wiping the sweat from my brow, trying to decide if I want to make this blog bigger. Work to grow an audience. Bring on sponsors. Cross that threshold of something more. I've turned these opportunities over in my head on several occasions through the years. And with all the planning, dreaming and believing I still end up in this same exact place. I cannot in good sound heart do these big things. Not here. Not now. Not in this little corner of ours. So we continue on. This little family blog. Because we never set out to do more than share the little pieces of ourselves.

As Mark helped remind me in a discussion while pacing the bathroom floor. "This seems like it would take away from your book. That's where you really want to be." He's right. He is more right than I'd like to admit. A ploy this all can be. To steal me away from my bigger purpose. And so I'll keep writing. Making blog posts when time allows. Maybe with this new job that will be a little more often. Thank you for sticking around to find out.

This month has been full of changes. A new school year, stepping into the halls we have an adventurous 4th grader and a cool 8th grader. No they aren't growing up at all, are they?

What we have found out, in the crease of day and night, is that all of this work can be rather exhausting. And fall break is already on the tip of our thoughts. Oh Fall, how we long for your crisp air. The football games, the thermos of coffee, the sweet apples, the yellowing trees, the flannel shirts (and my new L.L. Bean boots). Until then, bring on the down time when we can steal it away.

This dog begs to be cuddled.

This unicorn too...

We took a little break and snuck off into the night. We found The Cheesecake Factory in all of her glory. Couldn't leave without a little snack...

Whenever I think of the kids, parenting with all the ups, downs and in betweens...

We don't have consistent bedtimes. We don't do all the chores. We skimp on milk consumption. We don't bathe every day. We don't have all the planned activities. We haven't volunteered in a school for over a year. We don't always sign agendas. We wake up late and run out the door. We pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich twice in a week. We forget to take out the trash. We talk about Pokemon more than we talk about a higher power. We listen to 90's alternative. We move our kids across the country to a place we've never known. And then pick up five years later and move them again. You know there's a lot of reasons to doubt our responsibility of bringing up children into this world. 

Through it all, I can't help but think that maybe we are doing okay. Despite all of the messiness that life brings. Because they know love. These kids. They know it and see it in our eyes when tears run down our faces talking to them about their goals in life. They hear it when we tell them every day how much our hearts swell with love for them. When we remind them of how proud they make us. How special and unique each of their gifts and talents are. To parent these sweet, thoughtful, lovely souls. This is our life's purpose. And we aren't perfect. Isn't that so very beautiful?

Until next time. Let's rest for a while.