enjoying

Somedays, when the afternoons are warm and you have I Get Around by the Beach Boys playing on the radio, it's time to pull off the road and have yourself some fun. 

And with these two, fun is always right around the corner...

Spring has a great way of doing that to you. Are you ever entirely aware of the fluorescents that we live out our days under? Nothing like a large dose of sunlight to let the warmth flood your veins, calling out the adventure that we've been missing.

This week is going better. I mean, there are no flat tires *crossing fingers* but the vibe in general is a little more smile and a lot less grimace. I pay a lot of tribute to the lessening of rainy days and more sunlight. I honestly don't know what would become of me if I lived in Seattle. But with summer around the corner, there's hope for a little more chill in our neck of the woods.

The kids are feeling it too and the countdown is on.

I can't help but be entirely hopeful and grateful for where we are going. There are so many times that I'm completely in awe of these two amazing people. And I have a feeling that will be a recurring theme in the years to come.

Enjoy this day, every day. 

the tire metaphor

Last week, like many weeks, has been full of the busy. Meetings, practices, activities, errands, school, work...laundry. Can I tell you how much I can't stand laundry? It's never ending...

The hum of the every day commitments and tasks drown out a part of us that screams for attention. The part of us that needs to slow down, take a breath. When we can't balance out the busy with the not-so-busy, the stand in place with the go-go-go, life has a funny way of reminding us to take a moment and shift focus.

Driving home from my second job I didn't notice anything different. Highway for 45 minutes with two errands to run before picking up the kids from school, I watched the clock waiting for a stop light. Noticing my fatigue and a short line in the McDonalds drive thru I decided an afternoon dose of caffeine was in order. While waiting to pay, someone picking up trash in the parking lot flagged me and I rolled down the window.

"Your back tire is flat."

Thanking him and driving to the nearest gas station I got out and took a look at the supposed flat tire. My air pressure gage hadn't gone off, and I didn't feel anything different from driving. At first I had the false hope that he had been mistaken.

Not so much.

After attempting to fill the tire up with air, and not seeing any evidence of progress; I got home,  picked up the kids and panicked. Mark had two tests in a matter of 12 hours and though he was willing to put it off to help, I was able to phone a friend and get the tire patched up without any cost to us. Well, I wouldn't say any cost...we count "time" at a pretty valuable exchange rate around these parts.

It got me thinking, as I was waiting in the mechanic's row of chairs, wondering what I would be doing right then if I hadn't had to deal with this cumbersome task.

Metaphors wait, dripping in anticipation, for moments like these.

Here we are, going along our path-speeding down roads from A to B. Rarely we have a moment to glance out the window and give the scenery a second look. Instead we are too busy already waiting for the stoplight up ahead, or visualizing the next few tasks until we can get to where we're headed. Always trying to get somewhere and our minds are in other places.

That is until we are forced to stop. Be it a flat tire, an empty tank, a turtle crossing the road for all I know. Whatever it is, we're now unable to rely on the hum of an engine- the blinders that we put on to the world as we're going, going, going.

When the inevitable stop comes...because let's face it everything fatigues. Sometimes it's our vehicle. Sometimes it's the driver. We have to take that as an opportunity to breathe. Our schedules will never allow it, our deadlines push us into corners that make it impossible to get that chance. But really, that is what we're missing. The opportunities to get away from the green light and the on-ramps. As annoying as they are, speed bumps and speed limits have their purpose too. And even flat tires.

Patching it up is the easy part...we get to decide the type of miles we put on ourselves.

our DC trip {in pictures}

This year, for spring break, we trekked up north to see our nation's capital.

First we'd like to thank our wonderful host, Mark's brother Tony. The stay was extremely enjoyed, every minute!

The weather cooperated for the most part during our stay, and we were able to enjoy the outdoors. Getting some fresh air is always a must.

One of our first stops was to Fort Washington

Definitely worth a read to explore the history that took place here...

Looking out over the Potomac...

If these walls could talk...

We enjoyed walking around these grounds and exploring the history surrounding Washington D.C. In case you have ever wondered, there's a lot of history tucked into these areas.

I know the kids get tired of me taking pictures, but I told them they would look back on these someday and wish they had smiled a few times...and this is what I got ;-)

We were able to look at quite a few historic landmarks, and we got our exercise...

In front of the White House:

Jefferson Memorial:

Capitol (under some construction):

American Red Cross National Headquarters:

World War II Memorial:

Washington Monument:

Lincoln Memorial:

On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial where Martin Luther King Jr gave his "I Have A Dream" speech.

We went through the American History, Natural History, Air and Space Smithsonian:

The kids enjoyed their first Metro Subway experience!

Tony also gave us some great walking tours of the city and we enjoyed all of the busy sights and sounds and, of course, food!

Shout out to John for meeting us for dinner; a fun night! :)

We had a fantastic trip, and can't wait to come back again!

Thank you Tony and Molly, for being such enjoyable hosts!

dwelling

This is such a touchy subject, and I almost hesitate to write about it. I can see dear family and friends reading my words and taking it all out of context and not reading it for what it is. My thoughts. On this day, at this time. I guess I'll take that risk.

For what it's worth, I try to be authentic and surrender myself to ever changing and rebalancing of thoughts and beliefs that will eventually shape this life I live. The process is crucial to all of us who want to think back at the end of our days and say "yes I lived a truly authentic, one of a kind of life." I have to think we all take several paths to get to where we are. This experience of life connects us at our core. 

So I begin.

I grew up with a strong Christian background. Strong in the sense that "hate" was a bad word and heaven was filled with Angels, hell with Demons. Pretty standard, I'd say. 

Sunday was bible school. Pews with hymns and prayers of forgiveness for the sins like tattling on my brother or listening  to my friend say the s- word and maybe repeating it to myself to hear the sound of it across my teeth. By middle school God made his appearances twice a week when I would go to Youth Group on Wednesday nights. We would talk about old scripture and how it would relate to our world of Doc Martens and lip gloss. God was cool, like a hipster picture of Jesus wearing sunglasses. Totally relatable in our land of "like" and "as if." The 90s, people. You have no idea how cool we were. 

Then came adult life. When the world grips your shoulders and shakes you and your hipster Jesus. Your once solid beliefs become a Charlie Brown tree of missing limbs. Maybe there's enough strength to to hold together a few pine needles of original thought here and there. This is it, you think. I am drifting away in an ocean of uncertainty. The waves take you, drifting in the storm your demise absolute. 

A few nights ago we watched a little bit of Eat, Pray, Love. I read the book years ago and loved it. There was this moment, when Liz goes to an ashram in India trying to work on her focus through meditation. She centers on a certain passage: God dwells within you, as you. 

Since my adult life I have felt a large disconnect in all things God. In fact, there are days that I glance at something with the word G-O-D in it and I quickly avert my eyes. It's a word I cannot identify with easily and instead want to push away like leftovers at a table. 

God dwells within you, as you. 

I suppose, if this were truly the case, I am pushing away pieces of myself. Pieces that make me who I am. Nothing to be scared of. Not someone too hard to impress. In fact, someone that knows me in the most intimate way possible. Someone who has never left. Who has been with me in the dark, quiet moments of self-doubt. I am not alone.

God dwells within you, as you.

Day breaks. The sun comes up and greets a new day. You arrive onto an uninhabited island. Alone with your thoughts you become acclimated to this new place. You fill it with pieces of you, as you gather and collect pieces of it. We all have the capabilities to make our own home to dwell in. Our own ways to build a fire. Some may even gather warmth from non-fire sources. 

Without fail, there will be those select few that can cultivate their fire from a rare lightning strike, those lucky few may share their gold with others. 

If you're like me, a fire is more prized when we can build it with our own two hands. 

Whether you are a devout practitioner in lighting fires, or a practitioner of living out this life the best you know how....I feel that all of our journeys are worthy and uniquely ours, and are meant to intersect in ways we may not know and appreciate at times. No matter who you are, where you are in this journey I will send you love and light in your quest.

scout

Every now and then, when I let myself slow down and play observer, I catch glimpses of our children growing up into big people. These moments usually rush in and catch me off guard.

Life has a funny way of doing that.

No parent can really ever pin-point the time in which baby becomes kid then young adult. I suppose that may be due to some built in protective parenting mechanism which wraps itself tightly into shades of denial and unwillingness to let go. The part that always makes me breathless is that no matter what I do now, where we are in the future, and what will be...they are always ours. Just as much as the day we first held them. We are the keepers of their little hearts just as they have always kept ours. 

So when we went to Caleb's Blue & Gold Banquet this year, I held tight that little boy.


He took off, flew.


And right before our very eyes...he became a Boy Scout.

Caleb, we are so very proud.

And we know, you are too.

Next time that I get nostalgic for all the first steps, first words, first rides down memory lane...I hope that I recognize that those things are all nice to think about and remember. But right here, in this moment, we are doing amazing things too.