dear uncomfortable struggle,

"There's a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.
A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is." -Pema Chodron

Lately I've been looking at how we struggle. I know we all have it in some form or another. Within ourselves... at home... at work... at times that we don't want to admit. When we feel that struggle we get uncomfortable. We wiggle, squirm, read books, Google, ask friends, seek some sort of treatment or remedy to get back to where we feel we need to be.

But what if we need struggle? What if it is essential to our experience here in life?

If anything this struggle- or stress, or feeling of hopelessness- can teach us something. Through the years when I struggle, I have found that it has taught me that I have a level of perseverance that I didn't even realize I had. A level of commitment-not just to family, friends-but to myself.

In a way, I'm glad to have opportunities of struggle to feel out these corners of myself. To find out how I fight for me. How I fail at it many, many times but still get back up-wipe the dirt off my face and stand tall trying again.

We always put on big overcoats with pockets full of fears, let downs, negativity and regret. No matter the season, the weather in our life-things can be warm and sunny but we think we still need to wear these coats-heavy and limiting to our ability to be free and enjoy. It is not until we are made aware of our layers that we clothe ourselves in-shutting out what life has to offer-when we can acknowledge we are unnecessarily cloaked, and can finally be able to enjoy a fresh, warm breeze.

Next time you may feel uncomfortable and unsettled about the way life is going, slow down and allow yourself to dig deep. Pull yourself into that vulnerability and be okay with the in between. Before a problem can be solved, it should be examined and explored. Otherwise, we will come to the same misinterpreted conclusions...

pardon the interruption...

This week I'm trying to make strides to eating healthier. Part of that piece of the puzzle comes in planning. Check out this Easy Greek Salad in a jar on the "healthy things" tab...

Enjoy!

the road we're on

All is business as usual at our house lately. New year making room for new schedules and new things to do, places to go and people to see. We're excited for what will be coming our way in the months to follow. But we're also overwhelmed with all the things we have yet to accomplish.

Picking up the pace means losing the freedom of sleeping in, taking it easy, and cruising in the right lane. Funny thing is, as fast as life goes sometimes, we don't realize or take advantage of the many scenic routes or overlooks along the way. Days like today, when we're getting glimpses of spring weather, we made sure to pull over and make time for some sight-seeing. 

Running around in the fresh air always makes for bright smiles...

And daddy makes the best jungle jim...




Whatever road you're on, whatever speed you're going...make time for pulling off every now and then. Or at least rolling down your windows to take in the sweet air.

We wanted to give a big thank you for all of the wonderful birthday well-wishes for this boy of ours. He had a great birthday...thank you everyone for making it so special.

Happy Birthday Caleb

Dear Caleb,

If you would have told me on this day back in 2004 what life would be like with a son, I would have had to blink twice. Perhaps I could have imagined the sleepless nights, the rocking chair with a bottle in my hand, the quick bandaids to cover skinned knees, and the soccer ball hanging out in our back yard. I could have pondered over the talks about girls, the lessons about life in general, the ways we would explain spirituality to you. I could have been prepared for all of that.

But what I didn't know. What I could not have imagined. This is what I have difficulty putting into words. The thoughts to myself on the evening that I first met you. When tiny feet and hands filled my hopes and dreams into something tangible that maybe I did not even know I had a capacity of feeling.

Your eyes is what I remember. Those ocean blues that made my heart skip a beat. That night, when I first held you...they sent me little messages hinting to the boy you would become. My heart was so full. I had no idea how much more it could hold...


That's the amazing thing, son, being our firstborn you opened our hearts to a whole new kind of love.  I cannot thank you enough for that, sweet Caleb. 

And the person you are becoming...

More than I could have ever hoped. You continue to find ways to surprise us. Your laugh. Your wit. Your brilliance. Your humbleness. 

You are amazing, son.

We will always love you, Caleb. 

Happy Birthday son. We are so proud of you and love you very much!

part 2- AKA pictures and a New Year's Eve wish

I'll keep this short.

Because, well it's New Year's Eve. And we have a bottle of Pinot Grigio to open and a game of Catch-Phrase waiting. True story.

As always, I wish I would've got out my camera more often while we were in Kansas. Case and point, I completely spaced out while in Winfield visiting and regret that I don't have pictures of those wonderful memories. But they, like others, are seared into our hearts certainly. 

For the ones I was able to capture, these smiles say it all....

our own Elsa

Mark's family has this thing with Christmas Vacation and the collection is growing...

A favorite-kids opening presents...

Another favorite-big kids opening presents....

My camera got an awesome updated strap this year...

And I just have to share our family's first real tree...she did well.

Caleb's homemade ornament this year

Katelynn's homemade ornament this year

We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and continue to have a great night celebrating the end of 2014 and beginning of 2015. May we all enjoy health and happiness into this next year. Life is full of the ups and downs but no matter what may come I hope you all know how much love and light is in your path...

"No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are." 

~Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World